WWE Monday Night RAW Review (9/13/2021) by Anthony S. DiSalvatore
RANDY ORTON’S GETTING A TITLE MATCH! This was supposed to take place at Extreme Rules, whenever that show is, but they’ve moved it to tonight instead! Tonight’s show comes from Boston, MA. Meanwhile, Big E wants to use his MITB contract at some point on this program. Please no! Randy Orton, Big E, and Bobby Lashley show up in the ring to talk about the main event. MVP rightly says Big E shouldn’t be champion, because he’s been a clown for years now. Randy says he moved this match up a couple weeks to throw Lashley off. Big E immediately tries to make a joke out of this segment. He just can’t help himself. Anyway, Orton’s getting a title match later. Let’s move on!
Drew McIntyre & Viking Raiders vs. Jinder Mahal & His Men
I thought Drew moved on from this after he wrecked Jinder at Summerslam. He just can’t catch a break anymore. Drew finally showed some fire after losing to Sheamus last week, but it looks like he hasn’t progressed. Let’s wait and see what happens after this match. Before the bell actually rings, Jinder and his men jump Drew from behind. A preemptive strike! Good move. The Vikings run down to make the save and now the match properly starts. Drew tags in after a few minutes and makes a comeback. A perfect spinebuster connects on Jinder, and Drew makes the pin after a Claymore on Jinder’s bigger associate. Drew pretty much did this himself. He looked great in this and the crowd’s behind him. What’s next?
Damian Priest vs. Jeff Hardy: United States Championship
What’s Jeff Hardy done to deserve this match lately, besides his one win over Karrion Kross like a month ago? Wasn’t Sheamus supposed to be Priest’s opponent this week? He didn’t beat Drew McIntyre for nothing! Before the bell rings, Sheamus comes to ringside, complete with protective facemask. The match starts with a stalemate. This match is already awkward since the crowd’s expected to root for both guys. Jeff does all of his greatest hits early. The crowd’s actually cheering for Jeff, which makes Priest look bad. Priest does a flip dive on Jeff, then gets in Sheamus’s face before we go to break. When we come back, Jeff’s in control. Jeff does a big splash off the ropes, but he can’t get the pin yet. This match should be over by now! Why hasn’t Priest crushed Jeff yet?
Priest sets up for a big springboard move, but he comes off the ropes wrong, and the landing’s awkward. He wins shortly after this with a Cross Rhodes, but this whole match was awkward for several reasons. There was no build to it, both guys are supposed to be heroes, and the crowd still wanted to cheer Jeff the entire time, which made Priest look like a putz. Sheamus came in at the end and got the jump on both guys, but Priest laid him out with his own big boot, so at least this made sense in the end. I don’t blame Priest for this, but there are lots of holes in logic for this match and it was super awkward. Next week will be better!
Mustafa Ali & Mansoor & New Day vs. Mace & T-Bar (Not Retribution Anymore) & AJ Styles & Omos
It’s time for the arbitrary eight-man tag match! You see this all the time if you watch AEW television, and it’s no different here. I just hope this one doesn’t go for too long, because it’ll get stale fast. I won’t bother trying to keep up with the moves in this one, because there’s simply too many people for me to keep up with everything. I hate these things! New Day and Mansoor take turns stomping Styles, and Mustafa wants a tag. Nobody tags him in, so he just tags himself in. T-Bar immediately does his cool spinning big boot on him, then he and Mace wreck all the other guys on the good team. Mace looks thoroughly confused the whole time, but T-Bar has some promise if they’d stop letting him dress like a Mad Max villain. He can’t pull that off! Omos’s shoulder is heavily taped for some reason. Everybody does all their big moves, then Omos finally tags in. Mustafa Ali is all alone and wants none of this, but his partners come in and try for a rescue. I say try because they all failed miserably. Mustafa takes a chokeslam and eats the pin. I guess if the idea was for Omos to dominate a bunch of people, mission accomplished. This still could have been done with a four on one handicap match, and Omos would have looked better in the end.
Bobby Lashley vs. Randy Orton: WWE Championship
This is the match we’ve waited all night for! Bobby has been champion for close to a year, and Randy Orton is by far his most dangerous adversary yet. Personally, I like both guys, so I can’t pick this thing. The bell rings and Orton bails immediately. I’m not sure what his plan is, but I’m not one to argue with him. Bobby gets distracted by Matt Riddle at ringside, which is understandable, then Orton gets the jump on him. With no time to lose, Orton goes right for the pin and only gets one. Bobby runs into the ringpost, and Orton goes for his DDT early. Bobby counters and dumps Orton to the floor, and Orton’s ankle looks to be hurt on the landing. Orton’s still able to suplex Bobby onto the barricade wall, but that ankle is really bothering him.
After an ill-timed commercial, Randy does his top rope superplex. It connects, but he’s hurt too. Bobby gets up shortly and rams Randy into the ringpost. For the next several minutes, Orton takes a beating and Matt Riddle does everything he can to get the crowd back into it. Bobby goes for his chokeslam, but Orton counters and does some corner punches and a powerslam. Randy’s already doing a lot better than Kofi did when he tried this. Randy nails his DDT, then sets up for the RKO. Bobby blocks it and gives him the spear. This match should be over, but it’s a TWO COUNT! When’s the last time somebody kicked out of that? Bobby wants the full nelson, but Orton’s able to block it. Orton NAILS the RKO, but MVP’s there to back Lashley up. Randy responds by dropping MVP with an RKO on the floor. Bobby’s able to spear Orton again when he enters the ring for a three count. This match was good! This show as whole wasn’t bad if you skip all the pointless crap, which I always do for the purposes of these reviews! I skipped NXT last week, but I’ll be back tomorrow when they attempt a reboot!
BUT WAIT! BIG E SHOWS UP and he wants a title match RIGHT NOW! Is there enough time for this? I DON’T KNOW! Bobby is totally winded after beating up Orton, so this is a good idea on E’s part. I just hope he doesn’t win, because he’s been doing comedy shit for like eight years straight. Bobby’s knee is injured and he tries to say fuck it and leave, but E slaps him, so Bobby decides to unload on him. E takes Bobby down with a chop block, which is frowned upon. He goes for the Big Ending, but Bobby gives him a spear instead. Pin him! It’s a two-count! This is ridiculous. E does the Big Ending for a three count and he’s the new champion. I guess the entire program is a comedy show now. I hate it!