WWE Friday Night Smackdown Review (9/3/2021) by Anthony S. DiSalvatore
Last week’s episode of Smackdown was super disappointing! I fully expected Brock Lesnar to show up and explain why he returned at Summerslam, but instead, Finn Balor showed up and demanded a title match against Roman Reigns, set to take place tonight. Is there any doubt who’s going to win? No, but let’s see if these guys can do more to make this match interesting. Tonight’s show is in Jacksonville, and Pat McAfee is still gone from commentary, as he’s been diagnosed with Covid. What a bummer! I hate his dancing on the table thing, but I like his enthusiasm. Come back soon, Pat. Corey Graves is terrible!
Usos vs. Street Prophets
I know I was getting annoyed by Rey Mysterio and Dominic, but I’ll take them every day over the Street Prophets! I don’t like how the Usos have been relegated to being Roman’s lapdogs either, but that’s because they have the talent to be so much more. This match doesn’t last very long at all before it breaks down into a brawl and gets thrown out. Montez did a sweet frog splash, but that’s about it. In the backstage area, Heyman is being interviewed and his phone rings. It’s Brock calling him, based upon the ringtone. How much longer can Heyman feign ignorance about being involved with Lesnar? Big E makes a cameo, dressed as a janitor. Nice to see his singles run going so well!
Dolph Ziggler vs. Boogs
That’s the name of Shinsuke Nakamura’s guitar-playing friend. I wish I was making this up! Anyway, this is a test for Dolph, in a few ways. Can he take this guy who’s only had a few matches and make him look good? At the same time, if he loses, where will he go from here? Boogs shoots for a takedown on Dolph right away, which is surprising. I didn’t know he had any amateur background! I’ll have to look into this and get back to you next week. Boogs goes for the pumphandle slam right away, but Dolph slips out the back and sets up for the superkick. It’s blocked and he eats the pumphandle slam anyway for the pin. If Dolph wasn’t on his way out before, he better be on his way out now!
Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins
This match has already happened many times, so there’s not much else these guys can do to each other. If nothing else, we know this will be technically sound. I may put Seth Rollins on mute every time he speaks now, but he’s a gifted wrestler. Even so, I haven’t been given much reason to care about either of these two for a while. I thought they were done already! It’s all Cesaro at the start. He goes right for the giant swing, but he can’t get it. Too bad! Looks like this match is going to go for way too long. After a break, Cesaro goes for a superplex, but Seth powerbombs him into the corner instead. Didn’t they ban that move after Seth almost killed Sting with it years ago? Seth goes for the curb stomp, but eats a powerbomb instead. Cesaro gives Rollins the giant swing once again.
Cesaro applies the sharpshooter, but Seth gets the rope break. All he has to do to counter that move is grab Cesaro’s leg while he’s turning over. Seth bails to the floor and grabs a chair before hitting Cesaro with it, so this match gets thrown out too. A weak finish to this thing, and there’s no build behind it either. These guys need to move on from each other before the entire crowd stops caring instead of just me. Don’t they have enough people to make some matches the fans haven’t seen yet? Seth makes a point of stealing a bunch of Edge’s shit during this match. He may be hinting towards a rematch with Edge, but I’m not interested in seeing it. They’ve already done everything they can to each other and that story’s already reached its logical conclusion. Seth needs a break for a bit. Edge shows up at the end and runs Seth off. So far, there have been three matches, two no contests, and zero Brock Lesnar sightings.
Sami Zayn vs. Dominic
The announcers like to talk about how tough of a task this is for Dominic, but I think Sami has the tougher job. Dominic’s rotten! I don’t know how long he’s been training, but his movement in the ring is super awkward. If anybody Dominic does some lucha crap, but Sami counters with a simple clothesline. This match doesn’t last for long before Dominic goes for the 619. He misses and Sami tries to bail, but Rey Mysterio is right there to stop him. There’s some shenanigans between Rey and his son, and after the ensuing distraction, Sami wins in short order after his corner high kick. That’s two in a row for Sami Zayn! This doesn’t happen very often! There’s definitely a reason why Dominic’s matches are always so short and full of nonsense. He makes Cody look like Lou Thesz!
Roman Reigns vs. Finn Balor
What’s Finn’s motivation for all this? Apparently, he’s still mad about being forced to give up the belt due to injury. That only happened five years ago! I guess we’re all supposed to remember that like it was yesterday. Nobody does! Bray Wyatt’s already killed Finn on the air once before he came back this time, so I’m surprised they went that far back to find a reason for this. I couldn’t time Roman’s entrance this time, because they went to break while it was happening. I think the average is about four minutes. Finn was jumped by the Usos during his entrance, so this shouldn’t last very long. Like Roman needed any help to begin with!
This thing is all Roman. Finn targets the leg for a hot second, but it makes no difference. Finn sets up for his big corner dropkick, but he gets a punch instead. Roman gives Finn a Rock Bottom for a two count. Finn fires up for a comeback, but he’s favoring his ribs. Finn traps Roman inside the ring skirt and gets some shots in, then goes for an ill-advised dive. Finn goes for the top rope stomp, but misses and eats a Superman punch. Finn kicks out at two and tries for the top rope stomp a second time. He nailed it, but it’s a two count. Roman wins via submission after a front facelock. I’m really not impressed with Roman’s ability to beat underneath guys. Does anybody actually think his opponents have a chance to win? Even Daniel Bryan wasn’t at the height of his powers when he fought Roman for the belt. Cesaro’s never won a big match ever, and Cena was out for two years before he came back and fought Roman two weeks ago. The reason he can’t and won’t equal Brock Lesnar is because a. He doesn’t have Brock’s background and b. His challengers haven’t been at the level Brock’s was when he was champion. Another disappointing program, but I fully expect Brock to be on next week and bring some much needed star power to this program!