WWE Friday Night Smackdown Review (8/27/2021) by Anthony S. DiSalvatore
BROCK LESNAR is back on Smackdown! If you don’t know by now, he came back at the end of Summerslam and punked out Roman Reigns. Becky Lynch also showed up, but I’m far less excited about that. Tonight’s show is from Little Rock! Brock Lesnar being in the same state as me is enough to frighten me. Pat McAfee is absent this week, and he’s replaced by Corey Graves and Kevin Owens. Totally the same thing. The show opens with Becky Lynch, who gets a good reaction even though she totally fucked around Bianca Belair on Sunday. I don’t pay much attention to the ladies division these days, but that’s mostly because of Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross. I talked about this farce of a match Becky had earlier this week, and I’m still just as disappointed now about how it went down. Becky brings up Summerslam, gets booed briefly, and gives an insincere apology that she immediately takes back, to a bunch of cheers. Are these people stupid?
Bianca shows up and I’m just waiting for this segment to end. She’s pissed about getting her ass kicked in 20 seconds and wants a rematch. Fair enough! Zelina Vega enters and I hate what she’s done with her hair this week. She also hasn’t won a match since her return, so I’m not sure why she’s so confident. She insists on challenging Becky herself, which is laughable. Here comes Carmella, who was there briefly on Sunday, received a tepid reaction from the crowd, and then was swiftly shit canned to the floor. She’s bitching about her hair and nails, and I don’t care. Liv Morgan enters, which is more surprising than the rest of this. All the girls argue about who deserves a title match the most. Becky leaves and the other girls fight amongst themselves. This is followed by a four-way elimination girls match, the winner gets to fight Becky for the belt. I don’t have long enough to live for this to be good, and I’m waiting for Brock Lesnar to show up, so I’m skipping this to save time. Bianca won this match, last eliminating Liv Morgan. This means the preceding promo and this match itself didn’t need to take place. Just give Bianca a proper rematch instead of wasting half an hour!
In the backstage area, we come across Paul Heyman, who’s standing outside Roman’s locker room. He tried to enter earlier, but the door was locked. The Usos enter and question Heyman about Brock, who claims not to know anything about Brock’s affairs. Of course not! He’s only worked alongside Brock for 20 years! Why would they believe him anyway even if he were being honest? Heyman lies all the time! It’s his thing!
Chad Gable (w. Otis) vs. Cesaro
If you need a reason why this match should be really good, you haven’t been watching for long! I’ve enjoyed watching Otis wreck people, but it’s good for Chad to get in once in a while too. This goes back to a couple weeks ago when this match was scheduled to happen before Otis got involved and smashed Cesaro. Will he do it again? I wouldn’t be opposed to it, we’re all just waiting for Brock to come out. Both these guys are technical masters in the ring. Chad throws in a great judo-style shoulder toss and follows it up with a combination hammerlock and northern lights suplex. Awesome! Chad does his perfect no-look moonsault, just like his dad Kurt Angle used to do. Cesaro pulls out a Frankensteiner from the top rope out of nowhere. He goes for the big swing, but Otis wrecks him from behind. Called it! I really like Chad and Otis’s double team clothesline and German suplex. Looks like Cesaro needs a partner!
Shinsuke Nakamura & Guitar Dude vs. RooDolph
Oh boy, look how far RooDolph has fallen. They were tag team champions, and now they’re getting beaten up by a comedy guy who plays guitar more than he wrestles. And it’s not even Elias! Apollo shows up on screen and talks over this match, which immediately takes away from it. Nakamura eventually tags in and makes a great comeback on RooDolph, complete with his cool sliding suplex. Shin goes for Knee to Face, but he gets dumped out of the ring and Dolph drops him on his head. This match has already gone on for too long. Why not just let Shin run wild on these two instead of embarrassing them with the guitar dude? Shin’s associate wins over Dolph with a pumphandle slam. I know Dolph threatens to leave all the time, but this would definitely be the time to actually do it! Don’t worry about Roode, he’ll be just fine. This is all just filler until Brock Lesnar comes along.
Dominic vs. Sami Zayn?!
I haven’t seen Sami Zayn since he lost very quickly to Finn Balor weeks ago, but maybe he can make this interesting. We all know Dominic is rough in the ring, but Sami has the experience to carry this and make it good. This doesn’t last long before Dominic tries for the 619, but he slips off the ropes and hurts himself. Wow. I’ve been watching for a long time, and this is the absolute worst case of a wrestler’s kid being in the ring with so little talent I’ve ever seen. And I was around for Brooke Hogan’s run in TNA! At least she didn’t wrestle.
After a brief commercial for Dominic to compose himself, he comes back in the ring and does the 619 correctly this time. He goes for the frog splash, but Sami still has the presence of mind to clear the way before he jumps. Dominic gets suplexed into the corner and eats a corner high kick for the pin. SAMI ZAYN WINS! This only happens about once a year, so it’s a reason to throw a parade in French Canada. Rey Mysterio is disappointed.
As is custom now, there’s ten minutes of the show left, which means Roman gets to come out and talk some more. I don’t know how much time he’ll have, as long as his entrance takes. Heyman is still with him, although he looks upset after the Usos took him to task earlier. Is Heyman involved with Brock Lesnar? The answer is yes, of course, but we have yet to see how exactly they’ll be put together this time. After a break, Roman STILL hasn’t finished his entrance! It’s got to be an inside joke at this point. Where’s Brock? Heyman takes the microphone this time and does all the talking. He focuses on Roman beating Cena at Summerslam, but no mention of Brock yet. Finn Balor enters, which means he’s the alternative nobody wanted, twice in a row. Remember when Cena was supposed to show up and Finn came out instead?
Finn wants a title match against Roman still, but Roman’s not dealing with any of that. Finn says he’s not waiting anymore, and he makes a challenge for next week. He gets guffawed at by Roman and his men, then the Street Prophets show up to even the score. Where’s Brock Lesnar? Meanwhile, Roman has walked away and couldn’t be any less interested if he tried. Neither can I! Super disappointed. No Brock Lesnar this week. Match of the night goes to Sami Zayn! Even he couldn’t save Dominic from looking bad in the ring, but he came back and won, which is rare these days.